Dear most bloggers,

We're pretty sure that you did not personally discover organic food or raw diets, we disagree that your two year old is Jesus' greatest achievement, and we don't think that your 'CD Coasters' pack enough craft punch to encourage Martha Stewart to 'move over'.

That all being said, we can't stop reading your self-important, inane ramblings and even worse, we can't stop obsessing about how self-important and inane you are.

So we've decided to re-blog some of our favorite excerpts as we would have liked them to read from the get go. It's not nice but we can't help ourselves. Technology is to blame.


Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Nutrition-ick, contd.

More from our favorite NW narcissist:

She said:
Tomorrow, Mike and I are going off on a Tangent. This trip is a little tangent to our 'get up and make the coffee and turn on the computer' lives right now. Mike has been having an affair with his new job these past few months, staring intently at his computer screen for hours on end, whispering sweet nothings to his new trophy wife - the gleaming and angular Mac Book Pro with 14" screen. Oh, I occasionally get a wink or a peck on the cheek now and then, but usually it takes the smell of frying sausage from the kitchen to pull him away from his mistress.

We think she should have said:

I don't know what "Tangent" means so I capitalized it. Then I doubted myself so I wrote it again, lower case this time. Mike has been having an affair with someone who he says will finally give him "jobs". Don't know what that means, either. Better capitalize it in case it's important. Jobs. I wonder if I can successfully masturbate with my brother's old soccer trophy?
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