Nutrition-ick

Our first entry comes from our blog-hating muse, a self-proclaimed 'Hot Nutritionist' from Seattle who thinks she discovered making and drinking coffee, buying organic, and wine. It's important to know that 'Mike' is her whimsical fiance, who we assume is a 'graphic designer' and who wears blouses and medallions. You'll be seeing a lot of these two:

She said:

I realize, as I'm picking, that this is women's work. I'm gathering food as women have for thousands of years. The guys can have their spearsh and they can go chase their wooly mammoths for fun for all I care. But this? This comes naturally to me, and I get the impression that it certainly doesn't to Mike. I must have asked him ten times before if he'd like to go picking, but he always replies in the negative. Of course, when I arrive home, he can't keep his hands from the purple mass of sweetness in my big red plastic picking bowl.

We think she was trying to say:

I told my fiance to keep his wooly spearsh (sic) out of my purple mass of sweetness. He called me a wooly mammoth and raped me in the bowl. This comes naturally to me.